The Music (especially) and Movie Industries: I can appreciate that illegal downloaded is stealing -- but precedent shows us that it's also rather inevitable. So... instead of trying to make everything from breathing on the keyboard on up a copyright violation (or illegal/malfeasant is some other manner), could they get with the *&%$ing times. For industries defined by creativity they're awfully Bob Dole-ish when it comes to utilizing the internet. Online live concerts, internet only previews, associated product lines, more product placement, online interviews (with some ads) -- do whatever works. Heck -- they could do the kind of ploys that only the idiots fall for and release even more collectible expanded/"signed" CDs and movies. Or maybe, just maybe, prioritize paying Bob The Set Builder five dollars an hour over paying Brad Pitt 5,000 dollars a minute. The essential premise is this: As everyone is moving away from the music and movie industries they are trying to pull people back to them, rather than move to the people. When your five cent side street lemonade stand falls on hard times, instead of putting up a maze of signs... you just move it to the *&%#ing corner. Of course this a gross oversimplification, but at the very least, would they stop suing every schmuck caught with a burned CD and a limewire account.
Cheese: Indian Paneer: While people very rarely eat paneer plain -- eat it plain. It's unfinished, needs-more-to-be-truly-tasty quality will remind you that the music and movie industries also need more to be finished. The slight bitterness of the cheese bringing up resurgent guilt as you torrent Superbad and then Kazaa Pokerface.
Side Note: I have no illegal music anywhere on my computer -- I had a couple songs that may have been questionable at one point and I deleted them (Crap -- probably just opened myself up for a lawsuit there. I said questionable alright.). However, I have started trawling the internet for songs that can be downloaded both legally and free of charge. I thought I'd just be straining the bilge, but instead, I've been finding some great music that I never would have even known about otherwise. I know... I'm a saint.
Bands Who Think They're "Fighting the System": Everyone can agree that bands like Greenday and the All-American Rejects are way too successful with way too much corporate backing to really "fight the system," but I'm talking about all bands. "But Evan, what about underground bands -- they really are fighting the system" (I hear you object). No they're not; they're a bunch of friggin' bands. Their efforts are appreciated (just like everyone else who takes even the smallest chunk of time out of their day to point out bullshit), but to really "fight the system" more precision is needed. Combating the crap and identifying the crap are quite different. I already knew I was an American Idiot... now where's the IQ boosting serum. If they started encouraging their fanatically loyal fans to riot (or at the very least vote) then they might get somewhere. Hypothetically, a band could get so successful that they manage to steal all the air time away from everyone's favorite drug-addled Kafkian degenerate: Rush Limbaugh -- but any group that could supersede his viewership would be almost as bad (And now the hit single from the new hardpop band Flock of Sheep, the controversial (yet mainstream) "I drive 10 miles an hour over the speed limit while getting angry about my messy breakup and moving my hands erotically over the steering wheel."
Cheese: Limburger: The powerful smell of the rind is revolution in cheese form. Pungent and controversial it gets one thinking about what they're just about to eat. But... the actual cheese is surprisingly sweet and almost airy. It's a very tricky cheese, not having nearly the panache one would expect on first "sight."
Bing: Get the $%&* off my computer. Everywhere on the internet you can find those obnoxious little orange words with the double underline (advertising landmines), and the impossible-to-escape-float-at-the-top-of-the-screen popups. No, "bing" is not nearly as cute of a name as they think it is (or maybe it's ineffectually cute)... and no, bing is not going to take over google's empire (maybe they should have called it Cortez). Furthermore, all the wheeling and dealing, and exploiting, and advertising, and marketing, etc., does nothing but make bing look scuzzy and worthless. Granted, I haven't actually used bing (it could be god in search engine form), but I don't really have much of an incentive to try it. My guess: In five years they'll reveal that bing is a code name for skynet.
Cheese: Cabrales: This potent blue cheese will get everywhere. After a single bite the taste will last for the rest of the day and any clothes worn will eating will have to be sterilized to eliminate the smell. Also, it' dark blue-green color will stain and overpower not only the taste and the smell, but also the appearance of anything it's mixed with or put on. However, if one can get over the shock factor (most never do), Cabrales is surprisingly tasty.